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There are many ways in which the world is falling apart, but I have to say that I did not have “people throwing shit at singers on stage” on my bingo card. I guess it’s nice to know that I can still be surprised. In June a concert-goer assaulted Bebe Rexha with his cell phone, hitting her in the eye and requiring stitches. The “fan” was arrested and charged with multiple counts of assault and harassment. Then a week later someone threw a baggie of her mother’s ashes at Pink. Although the incident didn’t result in stitches, arrest or charges, it was nevertheless supremely icky. A couple of days ago Kelsea Ballerini was hit with a bracelet while performing in Idaho. Well, Adele isn’t waiting around for her attack. While performing at her Weekends with Adele residency in Las Vegas recently she decided to get ahead of any nefarious acts and challenged the audience to try something with her, and thank goodness someone in the audience recorded her:

Adele has a word of advice for anyone thinking about throwing something at her while she’s onstage: Don’t.

The “Easy on Me” singer, 35, recently addressed a recent string of incidents involving concertgoers assaulting artists by hurling objects at them, with a prominent example being Bebe Rexha getting hit in the face with a cellphone during a sold-out concert in New York City last month.

“Have you noticed how people are, like, forgetting f—ing show etiquette at the moment?” Adele asked the crowd at a recent show for her Weekends with Adele residency at Las Vegas’ The Colosseum at Caesars Palace, according to footage shared by fans.

“People are throwing shit on stage, have you seen them?” she continued, while holding a T-shirt gun, before delivering a warning. “I f—ing dare you. Dare you throw something at me and I’ll f—ing kill you.”

The British icon ended her rant by firing a T-shirt into the crowd, and saying, “These people have lost it. Can you imagine?”

[From Good Morning America]

I love everything about this. It’s peak FAFO energy. I admit I have a real soft spot for people who give etiquette notes while swearing like sailors. But Adele really ups the ante with the addition of wielding the T-shirt gun. It’s a very multi-layered move: on the one hand she’s a Brit in America and it reads like, “Ok Americans, I’ll speak your language of guns so you take me seriously!” (but, of course, in a non-lethal way). And then there’s the blatant, juicy ridiculousness of the fact that she shoots something into the audience… while telling them not to throw something at her under any circumstances. It’s brilliant (as the Brits would say). It just doesn’t bode well for her future teachers if she does get that degree in English literature when her residency is over. “Give me a B! I f—ing dare you!!”

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