5 Minute Philosopher is a weekly series in which Stylist gets profound with people we love. What will the TV presenters make of our existential questions?

What is the meaning of life?

Ant: To feel love and give love – it’s the greatest feeling there is.

Dec: To show kindness and treat others as you would like to be treated.

What is the difference between right and wrong?

Dec: Right is what you should do, wrong is what you really want to do [laughs].

Where is your happy place?

Dec: Newcastle. Once I arrive, my shoulders drop and I feel instantly relaxed.

Ant: Mine is outdoors, with my girlfriend, walking the dogs.

Nature or nurture?

Ant: I do believe that nurture has a great deal to do with how you end up as a human being.

Is it more important to be liked or respected?

Dec: If one was to trump the other then I’d like to be liked.

Ant: See, I’d say respect. We struggle so much with wanting everybody to like us, we weaken ourselves at times.

If you could be remembered for one thing what would it be?

Dec: Feeding a kangaroo testicle to Joe Swash [both laugh]. No… for making people laugh and forget about their troubles for a while.

Who or what is your greatest love?

Dec: My family, my wife, my child, my dog and Newcastle United – all equally.

Ant: My family, my partner, her girls, our dogs… and Newcastle United.

When did you last lie?

Dec: In the previous question. I actually love Newcastle United more than my wife, but don’t tell her that.

Does the supernatural exist?

Dec: I think there is more to this world than we can possibly fathom. There’s got to be.

Are you fatalistic?

Dec: Yes. I think the two of us meeting was fate.

Ant: In a way, but I think there are many, many paths.

What is your greatest fear?

Dec: Falling from a height.

Ant: It used to be spiders but we spent so long in Australia that you get used to them.

Animals or babies?

Dec: Animals are great but babies are the most magical thing ever.

Ant: I’m going to go animals so we’ve ticked both boxes. Two days ago, I cried my eyes out at a donkey sanctuary advert on TV, ended up giving some money and now they haven’t stopped calling.

What talent do you yearn for?

Ant: I’d love to be able to play the piano.

Dec: I learnt violin at school and hated it. I wish I’d learnt guitar or piano.

Do you like to be complimented?

Ant: Yeah, course, everybody does.

Dec: I’m not very good at taking compliments, I think people are lying.

Do you have a high pain threshold?

Ant: Yes. I’ve had various operations over the years. I took my own stitches out once.

Dec: I thought I did until my wife decided to squeeze my blackheads. It was the most painful experience I’ve ever had.

What book do you recommend most to others?

Ant: William Boyd, Any Human Heart. It’s a wonderful story of a man’s life; the ups, the downs, the loves, the losses.

Dec: The Boy, The Mole, The Fox And The Horse by Charlie Mackesy. It’s a beautiful book of philosophy. Get it, take yourself off with a cup of tea and have a little weep.

Which lesson has been the hardest to learn?

Ant: That it’s OK to ask for help. I think men especially struggle with that a lot.

Dec: Mine would be: don’t spoil the present by worrying too much about the future.

What food sums up happiness?

Ant: A good roast with all the family.

What have you never understood?

Dec: Long division, still can’t do it.

Ant: Why women carry their handbags like that [holds arm up at right angle with fist raised].

What is the one thing you want to know before you die?

Dec: How to do long division.

Ant: Why women carry their handbags the way they do [both laugh].

Are you scared of dying or what happens when you die?

Dec: I wouldn’t say I’m scared of it, I am intrigued.

Ant: No, but in the same breath, I love life, so long may that continue.

Quinoa or Quavers?

Dec: Quavers. You forget how good they are until you open another bag.

Ant: And I’m sure there would be a clever way of crunching up Quavers so you could breadcrumb a chicken in them. Get Jamie Oliver on the phone.

Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway is on Saturdays on ITV1

Images: ITV.com

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