Joe Giudice isn’t exactly holding back when it comes to recounting his new life in Italy.

Just about a year after he first landed in his native homeland — deported there following a 41-month stint in prison over various fraud charges here in America — Teresa Giudice‘s ex-husband is moving on. But he’s also looking back, and figuring out how to make his life better as he remains in the old country, so to speak.

The 48-year-old one-time New Jersey resident got very real about his new life in a Saturday interview with E! News, in which he opened up about, well, everything. From his love life, to his sex toy business (yes, really), to the current status of his relationship with the Real Housewives of New Jersey star herself, Joe has a LOT to say. And of course, he’s very much missing his daughters Gia, 19, Gabriella, 16, Milania, 14, and Audriana, 11.

So let’s dive into what life has been like in Salerno for the Italian Stallion!

Contents

The Sex Toy Business Is Strong

“My business is Zalo USA. It’s basically a woman’s massager. I wouldn’t call it my sex shop because it’s not, we don’t sell any of those other things. It’s basically just high-end massagers that are made by an Italian French designer. So they’re made of top quality material and, I mean, it’s a very good product. To be honest with you, I never really handled one until I got involved in this business. I always wanted to get involved in that business and I did. Listen, it’s paying me and the bills and it’s a good business. I sent one to Teresa and the whole cast. I’m sure that they’re having fun. I’m sure that each of them are gonna try it because it’s a pretty cool item. I know I couldn’t perform like that!”

He’s Got A New Business Venture

“I just signed a deal to start importing sofas, chairs and what have you from an Italian company here. They’re actually handmade sofas, leather sofas. I just partnered up with this guy there, we’re going to start shipping couches directly to the customer, to their home so you cut out the middle guy. Let’s say the couch cost $8,000, you cut out the other $8,000 to ship it to a shop in America, this, that and the other thing. So you save a lot of money. So I’m going to be wholesaling sofas to the customers all over the place.”

Living Through COVID Has Been Intense

“Now they wanna close everything down at 11 p.m., they don’t want you to go out, which I think is ridiculous. What the frick is the difference, you know what I mean? I don’t know what the hell’s going on…. It’s not that I’m not nervous about getting it, it’s just that I think we’ve had plenty of diseases in our time, we’ve had AIDS, we’ve had flus, pneumonias, you name it, we’ve had it….Millions literally died from I guess they called it the Spanish Influenza or whatever it was back then….I mean it was the same thing. They both died of not being able to breathe, lungs filling up with fluid, that’s what happens, you die after that happens.”

He’s Still Working On His Fitness

“I go to the gym, I train for three-to-four hours a day, I’ve got a fight coming up, Celebrity Boxing. Actually we formed a Celebrity MMA as well, so that’s going to be coming out right after the Celebrity Boxing….I’m actually in better shape now because I’m thicker and I look more like I did. Not like back then, I mean back then, to tell you the truth, I was too big. I looked like a fathead, to be honest with you. And I’m definitely in much better shape right now. But also I’ve been training, I’ve been hitting the bags, actually getting in the ring and boxing and kicking and all that. So I’ve been a black belt forever but I did a little bit of boxing. I know how to throw punches.”

He Speaks To Teresa Almost Every Day…

“I mean, listen, we talk every day but, we kind of moved on already. What are you going to do? It’s been a while. If I was living there, it would be a different story, but I’m not … I’ve known Teresa since she was born. My father drove her father to the hospital and she was born. Their family was from my town over here, where I was born, and her parents knew my parents when they were in the old country here so we go back a long way. I can’t get mad at her. She’s the mother of my four daughters and she’s taking care of them right now because obviously I can’t. What am I going to do, have the kids move here to a country that they don’t even know the language? That would be a disaster. That’ll be even worse. So the only thing we can do is try to make things the best we can. It’s a shame what they had to go through, those kids. Thank God they’re tough kids but it’s still a damn shame. At the end of the day, you know, we’re doing our best.”

…And Is Very Much Looking Forward To Seeing His Girls

“Two of my daughters will be coming Nov. 4, Milania and Gia. So I’m excited. It would be nice if all four came but the little one’s got dance and Gabriella is very on top of her game, she doesn’t like to miss anything. Which is understandable. I FaceTime with them all the time. I talk to Teresa all the time, too. You know, we’re OK. It is what it is….We wanna set something up for Christmas, we’re talking maybe meeting at an island. Hopefully everything opens up.”

“I’ve gotta be honest with you, they listen. They definitely respect me more than their mom, obviously. But they do listen to Teresa as well. And I’ve got to tell you the truth, they are very respectful, you know what I mean? They’re good kids and we’re lucky in that sense. I guess we did something right, you know? Because they are very good and I’ve gotta say they’re straight. So in that sense, we’re blessed. Cursed in another sense, but blessed in that sense.”

It’s Been Weird To See Teresa Date

“What’s she going to do, stay alone forever? That’s not fair, as well. Look, if I would have got out and I would have been able to go home, who knows what would happen? Maybe we’d still be in the same situation, maybe not. I don’t know. Things change after so many years.”

And He’s Maybe Thinking About A Political Career?!

“Look, everybody makes mistakes. I did what I had to do. I spent a lot of time in prison. People kill people and get that kind of time, you know what I mean? I just think it was a little too harsh, the sentence. I think they could have been a little lenient and they could have still made a point. You know what I mean? … This country here should be one of the richest countries in the world. It really should, because they had everything going here. Every factory going, you name it. They got all great stuff here. It’s just ran terribly….At the end of the day, anything’s possible. You know, here, my record’s clean! I’m a saint here!”

Wow!

That last part… that would sure be a surprise, wouldn’t it?!

Italian Parliament is not ready. LOLz!!!

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